I'm really depressed right now andI'm feeling very overwhelmed at the moment.You know, that is the only thing that ever gets to me really, being overwhelmed and under stress.I have a lot to deal with, a lot to think about, and it's just starting to get to me.And I'm still in that FUCKING CUDDLING MOOD! Great, now i get to go to camp like that...that's really gonna suck.Grr, I have to figure this out. I don't know how to explain it, but I feel like I have to say something for why I am so screwed up. A little while ago, as ina month or 2, I was feeling as bad as I used to when I had to go to that metal hospital. For all those that don't know, I was in one, and it sucked. I have been in those little white padded rooms before, and they're really not fun. I have had to have my blood taken everyday to make sure that everything is fine, and that I haven't tried to OD on something. I was put in there for many reasons, most of which have to do with my dad. In fact, all of it does. I was suicidal, had tried several times to commit suicide, I had run away, and so much more.It's not a good feeling, and I don't like it. It scares me. I haven't been at that point in years, and it terrified me that I was feeling that way again.Right now I'm not, but I'm still trying to get over when I was, and I'm trying to keep myself from going there again so that nothing happens. Because I don't want that. It's a very bad place to be, and I hate it. So, just to let you all know, that's what I'm struggling with, and with being overwhelmed by everything.So, I'm gonna leave it here, because I've got to pack, but I love y'all and I'll see ya when I get back.
Maybe I shouldn't have posted this...you all don't need to read this. You don't need to know.I shouldn't put this on you, it's not fair.I think I'm going to delete it. It's so hard not to, to just keep it all inside.Maybe it's for the best that I keep it hidden.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
don't delete it. I'm sorry that you feel that way.if you ever feel that way again, talk to me, don't just post on how you feel shitty, talk to me or if you do post expect me to talk to you. i'm glad that it terrified you to feel that way again. Avoid people or places or things that make you feel that way if at all possible. Please. Being overwhelmed is not good. You can ask for help. You will recieve it. I love you.
actually it is good to get that stuff out one way or another...
you don't want it to eat you from the inside out, that will mess you up big time, that is why i am like i am...
Post a Comment