well...

There are a lot of things going on inside my mind right now. Most of them have something to do with Maeghan.I haven't seen her in almost 2 weeks, and I really miss her. But here's the thing, I'm really struggling with having a girlfriend and liking other people. I mean, yeah, I like Maeghan, I like her a lot. But I also like some other people. Like Eryn, Issy, Andrew, and yes, I still like Franklin. And I don't mean I like them as just friends. I have an attraction to all of them. I know that I could never date them (probably) because it would change the relationship, and other people might get hurt. I am so fucking confused right now. So, here are some things that I just have to say. I hope that no one gets offended, if they do, I'm sorry. Issy:You know how I feel about you. I have ever since 5th grade. Even when I knew you in 4th grade, there was something there. I just didn't know what it was. Well, I also know what you have told me, about how you feel about me. And I understand, it's ok.I am just going to have to deal with that and move on.I really missed you while you were gone, and I'm glad that you are back. I can't wait to see you and catch back up again. Eryn: I like you. A lot. I have since the beginning of the year.I know that you like me, I'm just not sure how much, or what that means. I'd really like to know. It fucks with my mind, because I do have a gf, so I shouldn't have these feelings. But I do. And there is nothing you can do about it, or have done, so don't think that it is in any way your fault. Because it's not. Recently, we have found out a lot about each other, our similarities and differences, and I think that's a good thing. I really have enjoyed the time with you. Franklin: What to say... A lot has happened that involves you. Yes, I still like you, but I seriously doubt that anything can come of it because of what has happened. Plus, a lot has changed this year. I know how you feel about me, or at least how you say you feel. But right now, we are friends, and that's how it needs to stay right now and probably for a while. I am invilved with someone else, and I intend to keep that relationship going. Andrew: Well, this is probably going to be awkward or weird, but here goes. I have a crush on you. I have since about halfway through the year, when I actually got to know you. but I also know that you like someone else. I have absolutely no idea how you feel about me. For all I know, you think of me as a friend and I'm freaking the shit out of you right now. Oh well, I had to. But, I hope this doesn't change anything. Well, that's about it people. My mind is really screwed right now. I just confirmed that one of my friends has a crush on Maeghan. I'm not going to say who, but they know who they are. I am not blaming them, because it is not their fault that they like her. I do too, plus, you can't help who you are attracted to. I really trust this person,so I hope nothing will, or would, happen. If it did, I would be hurt beyond belief, because I really really like Maeghan, and I hope that she still likes me. I think that Maeghan might also have a crush on this person too. But I hope that she still likes me, which is one thing that definetly concerns me. She has had way more experience with girls than I have, so I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing, and I'm really worried that she might not feel the same about me like I do her. So, if I'm a little stressed, give me a break. That's all for now, but I'm sure that there will be more later. Love ya.