Brook's gone.

Well, we did it. We put Brook to sleep. She's gone. I can't believe it. This is the dog that I've known since I was born. What am I supposed to do now?She was the one who was always there for me. When I cried, she'd stay there and let me cry on her, when I was sick, she'd be right next to me the entire time, when I was cold, she'd even lay on top of me. Now she's gone.I used to share a twin size bed with her, and I was never afraid because I knew that she would protect me. She was like my mother, protector and friend. I thought she'd never leave me.But now she has. And she didn't want to go. She had a spirit in her that I've never seen before. It was time, for her body at least. I knew she would never be ready. And she was too strong to die on her own.She couldn't stnad up on her own, her whole back end would collapse, she was shaking, and she would fall over for no reason. Everytime, she would get back up, act like nothing had happened, like no one saw it.She was always very proud like that. I know that it must have hurt ot do that, to see yourself dying, and still be as sharp and proud as ever. But she never once cried out. Not once.Until today.When we took her to the vet, and they did it, she cried. And cried and cried.This animal that has been the mother to so many kids and animals alike, who never let anyting get to her or hurt her, who would sacrifice herself for any one of us, cried out in pain. It killed me. It was so hard to have to do that to an animal that wasn't ready in her mind or spirit. But she knew what was going on, she knew it had to happen. SHe fought it though, she always was a fighter like that. In the end, she went in peace. That's the only good thing.She was suffering even though she wouldn't admit it or show it. She was. Quality is better than quantity.When we got back I couldn't even go into the house. I don't know if I can anytime soon. It's too weird. She has always been there. Always. I would walk in and she's be the first to greet me, no matter where she was or if she was sleeping.And now she's not. But she's in a better place, somewhere where she won't be in any pain.That's good.It's what she deserves.So if you were wondering why I wasn't at school today, you know why now.I just couldn't face it. I've been crying all day, and I cried myself to sleep last night. I can't stay at home tonight. I just can't. Not without her.I'm not going to the cross country meet either. I can't handle it, plus they won't let me since I missed school. But I might be able to hang out with some people. Maybe. If you can, call me. I'm at my grandma's at the moment, but I might be home later. I really don't wanna be though, so call me or talk to me if you can. Lovelove.