personality thingy

I saw this on Gibson's blog.


Extraversion

60%
Stability

66%
Orderliness

33%
Accommodation

56%
Interdependence

63%
Intellectual

16%
Mystical

36%
Artistic

10%
Religious

16%
Hedonism

10%
Materialism

30%
Narcissism

36%
Adventurousness

43%
Work ethic

10%
Self absorbed

36%
Conflict seeking

16%
Need to dominate

23%
Romantic

56%
Avoidant

50%
Anti-authority

50%
Wealth

10%
Dependency

50%
Change averse

56%
Cautiousness

50%
Individuality

50%
Sexuality

50%
Peter pan complex

76%
Physical security

36%
Physical fitness

50%
Histrionic

30%
Paranoia

23%
Vanity

30%
Hypersensitivity

56%
Female cliche

36%
Stability results were moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.
Extraversion results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity. trait snapshot:
messy, disorganized, social, tough, outgoing, rarely worries, self revealing, open, risk taker, likes the unknown, likes large parties, makes friends easily, likes to stand out, likes to make fun of people, reckless, optimistic, positive, strong, does not like to be alone, ambivalent about chaos, abstract, impractical, not good at saving money, fearless, trusting, thrill seeker, not rule conscious, enjoys leadership, strange, loves food, abstract, rarely irritated, anti-authority, attracted to the counter culture



Well, not too bad I don't think. Some of it is true, I think. What do you think?

just got back from cross country practice

As the title says, I just got back from practice. Coach dropped me off, which is in itself weird.Anyways, today was an easy day. we went on a 15-20 minute run around the neighborhood, then lifted weights.This was the forst practice that I have been to in almost 2 weeks, and it felt so good to run. I really wanted to keep going. And I didn't have to stop and walk either. Every other time that we've done a neighborhood run like that I've had to stop. This time I didn't. I ran with Amanda, and we talked the entire time. It was cool.Amanda is a really cool person to run with, because we stay busy talking.It makes things a lot easier. When we got back to the school, I wasn't even out of breath. My muscles weren't all that happy, but it felt really good.There is a mee tthis Saturday, and i plan on going. I have to be at the school at 6:30 am.That part isn't too cool, but I'd still like to see how I do for my first cross country meet.I'm excited, but nervous.Lol, it should be interesting though. Anyway, we're supposed to keep a running log. He said he is going to check it everyday. We might have a problem there. He wants us to write down everything we eat, how much we sleep,all that good stuff.Well, let's see. I eat a small breakfast, as in whatever I can grab as I run out the door, I don't eat lunch because it makes me sick, and I have fast food, or a small dinner because eating a tom makes my stomach hurt.Then there's the sleep thing. I'm fine, but I don't think coach would like the fact that I didn't sleep at all last night, and I haven't had many hours of sleep for a couple of nights. It's annoying at night, but I'm no worse for it. I think I shall have to bs my way through this. issy, maybe you can help me.Thanks. Well, I'm gonna go find something to eat. Bibi.

Collab and other things

Collab was awesome.And really warm. Well, for me at least. I had a human blanket, as well as human pillows and stuff. Twas fun.And I read one of my facorite poems. I really like that poem, I hope you guys did too. I would have to say that my favorite parts were the improv that eryn , manny, franklin and andykins did as well as the one thing with the electric bass.That was awesome.And we all went back to Issy's house. We took Danny boy out and maeghan, andykinds, eryn and I just kinda stayed there for a while. that was fun. There was just too much going on at issy's for me. I loved how I just capitalized the dog's name, but not the people.Lol, oh well.Everyone went home, and Eryn, Maeghan and I spent the night. That was fun.We watched So I married An Axe murderer. Maeghan had never seen it, and it's a good movie.So funny.I didn't get to bed until about 5:30. But I as tired, so it was good. I didn't sleep til about 6:30. And I'll tell you what, sleeping in Elliot's room was kinda weird. So I'm glad that I wasn't in there before that.But anyway, I got home and put the munchkin down for a nap (oh yeah, that went over well) and then we went to the store.Right when we were about to leave, the storm hit.It was amazing. There were lightning strikes and thunder and it was pouring down rain. I got soaked.I loved it. I was already wet from going in and out of the stores, so I just kinda stayed out in the rain when I got home. My aunt thought I was insane, and got kinda mad, but I loved it so.And I'm still wet now. But it was sooo much fun, And the rain was amazing. There was sooo much, and it was really coming down. It was awesome.But yeah, when we walked inside, there was a flood. Evidently, the window in the dining room lets in water, and it was ankle deep. I'm not kidding. So, I spent the next 2 hours trying to clean that up. Butoh well, I really didn't mind. The puppies were so cute. They would run and slide into the room sending water everywhere. It looked realy fun. And it was entertaining.So yeah, I'm gonna go,I still have homework that I haven't done. Bibi.

Brook's gone.

Well, we did it. We put Brook to sleep. She's gone. I can't believe it. This is the dog that I've known since I was born. What am I supposed to do now?She was the one who was always there for me. When I cried, she'd stay there and let me cry on her, when I was sick, she'd be right next to me the entire time, when I was cold, she'd even lay on top of me. Now she's gone.I used to share a twin size bed with her, and I was never afraid because I knew that she would protect me. She was like my mother, protector and friend. I thought she'd never leave me.But now she has. And she didn't want to go. She had a spirit in her that I've never seen before. It was time, for her body at least. I knew she would never be ready. And she was too strong to die on her own.She couldn't stnad up on her own, her whole back end would collapse, she was shaking, and she would fall over for no reason. Everytime, she would get back up, act like nothing had happened, like no one saw it.She was always very proud like that. I know that it must have hurt ot do that, to see yourself dying, and still be as sharp and proud as ever. But she never once cried out. Not once.Until today.When we took her to the vet, and they did it, she cried. And cried and cried.This animal that has been the mother to so many kids and animals alike, who never let anyting get to her or hurt her, who would sacrifice herself for any one of us, cried out in pain. It killed me. It was so hard to have to do that to an animal that wasn't ready in her mind or spirit. But she knew what was going on, she knew it had to happen. SHe fought it though, she always was a fighter like that. In the end, she went in peace. That's the only good thing.She was suffering even though she wouldn't admit it or show it. She was. Quality is better than quantity.When we got back I couldn't even go into the house. I don't know if I can anytime soon. It's too weird. She has always been there. Always. I would walk in and she's be the first to greet me, no matter where she was or if she was sleeping.And now she's not. But she's in a better place, somewhere where she won't be in any pain.That's good.It's what she deserves.So if you were wondering why I wasn't at school today, you know why now.I just couldn't face it. I've been crying all day, and I cried myself to sleep last night. I can't stay at home tonight. I just can't. Not without her.I'm not going to the cross country meet either. I can't handle it, plus they won't let me since I missed school. But I might be able to hang out with some people. Maybe. If you can, call me. I'm at my grandma's at the moment, but I might be home later. I really don't wanna be though, so call me or talk to me if you can. Lovelove.

an update

I'm not complaining. Oh great, now it sounds like I am.Oh well. I just needed to update and to let you guys know what's been going on lately.Well, as most of you know, I blacked out last night.I haven't gotten much sleep lately, but I hope that will change.My mum and I just got into another arguement, about xc this time.Again. After practice today, mum said that she was oing to talk to coach. So she did. She told me that I had to make a full comitment or none at all. No half-assing it. She basically told me that if I miss another practice that I'm not on the team anymore, and if I quit I am to take the bus straight to Susan's or home. No friends. And that means weekends too.So that really sucks. I can't have a life, and if I try to she takes it away anyway. I hardly get to see you guys during school anyway, and now it's going to be even less during the week and weekends.And I think she's serious too.That scares me. Because if she's serious about this, then I'm screwed. That means no you guys, and no Maeghan either.On a lsighty better note, I got 5th chair second violin. Out of 12. That's pretty good for me.But then again, he expects me to play good now...Oh well. I shall manage.I really hate my schedule, like, with friends and all. I know I really can't say much about that, as neither Eryn nor Maeghan have many classes with people. But I said it anyway.And i now have to find a way to save money. Mum even asked me too. That means it's serious. So that's not good.And this whole grounded thing is really getting to me, I would really hate it if it turns out to be true, you know, her sticking to it and all.But yeah, and my dad is doing his shit again. So yeah, you all know what that means...well, I updated, and I shall go and do my Spanish homework, and tell my mum about the orchestra, as it will give her a reason to be happy for a little while, and no yelling maybe.Bibi.

random stuff

Your Hidden Talent
You are a great communicator. You have a real way with words.You're never at a loss to explain what you mean or how you feel.People find it easy to empathize with you, no matter what your situation.When you're up, you make everyone happy. But when you're down, everyone suffers.




Your IQ Is 100
Your Logical Intelligence is AverageYour Verbal Intelligence is ExceptionalYour Mathematical Intelligence is Above AverageYour General Knowledge is Above Average


Part Shy Kisser
You *do* love to kiss, once your comfortable with itAnd that means knowing the person you're kissing pretty wellYou usually don't make the first move when it comes to making outBut you've got plenty of intensity in return
Part Expert Kisser
You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantityYou've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks offAnd you're adaptable, giving each partner what they craveWhen it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable


What You Really Think Of Your Friends
Brad is your soulmate.
You truly love Eryn.
You consider Andykins your true friend.
You know that Issy is always thinking of you.
You'll remember Maeghan for the rest of your life.
You secretly think Emmanuel is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times.
You secretly think that Swinney is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker.
You secretly think that Franklin is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Franklin changes lovers faster than underwear.
You secretly think Aimee is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Aimee has a hidden internet romance.

first day of school

You know what, school sucks. Yeah, it was nice to see all my friends that I haven't been able to see this summer, but other than that, it's crap. I mean, I really dislike my schedule, I have no classes with Maeghan. Like, NONE! Or any with Eryn, that really pisses me off. It really does. I don't have their lunch either, or see them in the hallways.School takes away our time to do other more useful stuff. I mean, I know that it's required, and we do need it for our future, but right now we have so many different things that we could be doing that are so much better.I dunno, but I just got into another arguement with mum, and I just hate it. We got into an arguement over school, and I just don't think that it's worth it.I mean, we always argue over stupid little things, and they all go back to school.Oh well, not much I can do about it.Just thought I'd let you know how I feel about it before you ask.

last day of summer

Tonight is a fucking SCHOOL NIGHT!!!Do you know how much that sucks?!Our SUMMER is OVER.I don't like that. As much as I had to do this summer, I still miss the free time, the unplanned time withfrends, all the things that we won't get much of during school.This sucks.I really hope that I get to see you guys during school and if not, then hopefully we'll get to hang out on the weekends.If not I'm going to kill someone. Like seriously, I have missed you guys.I really have.I really hope that I pass this year with good grades and that I have fun, because that would be bad if I didn't. There are so many memories of freshman year, I just wish taht I could go back. I mena, yeah, I was a freshman, and that kinda sucked, but there were so many new things that happened, I can hardly believe that it's over and a new year is beginning. I wonder what's going to happen this year. Tee hee, it should be interesting.Well, I finally got ot go to hot topic, and I got 2 new pairs o fpants. They are awesome. You guys shall see them when I go to school. I'm stil working on mum about the purple hair, but I shall get it eventually.Anyways...I spent the night at Eryn's house last night, as did Issy. We watched Constantine (AWESOME movie), and it was funny watching Issy jump. We finally went to bed about 4. I got to sleep about 6, and was awake again at 8.I just really wasn't tired.But yeah, today we rented 2 more movies, one was called Kinsey, Let's Talk About Sex (I'm not kidding) or something like that, and the other was the Blair Witch Project. Both were good.Then I had to go home. Yeha, that went over well. Mum decided that she would accuse me of being high and to have been drinking.that was swell, I was in such a good mood after it. So we got into an arguement, and now we;re not talking. But maybe that's a good thing. Well, I shall see you guys bright and early. Bibi.

I wonder...

I dunno, it's late, I'm bored, and I've got nothing better to do. So I am just sitting here and thinking.I wore a pair of Eryn's pants to registration, and I loved it. I actually felt good about myself.Then when we got back to her house, we went through all her stuff, and I got a couple of new things. I out on a red shirt that was kinda like a tank top I guess. It has like almost spaghetti straps and was kinda short and kinda tight. But I felt good in it. It fit me. I've lost a little wieght, and I'm actually liking my body. It felt so nice today, to just be able to wear some clothes that I don't normally wear, and actually feel good in them. Like, I loved myself for a few hours.I didn't feel like I had to compare myself to anyone. That was an amazing feeling. I really want it back.I want to wear stuff that makes me feel like that. I get really happy, and am really, just...me. No worries, no crap, nothing. It's great.That stuff just happens to be black, gothic, different, whatever. I'm not a poser,and honestly, I don't care if people think I am. they can thnk what they want, I don't give a damn. But I really want to be able to feel good about myself, to not have to think that I'm not hot enough, or anything.I don't think Eryn realized this.Lol, I don't think anyone did. But how can I explain it to my mum? I dunno what she'll think. And I don't know how to explain it to her anyway.I just wish I could. I mean, she's against me wearing the "goth" stuff and everything, I dunno why, but I wish I could make her see. I like wearing what I feel comfortable in.That's what I've always done. I have always been made fun of because I never wear girly clothes. But I've never been comfortable in them.I've always been more comfy in bigger shirts and stuff. Plus, most of the reason why I'm so shy/modest is that I'm self-conscious. I never want to show my flaws like that. There are others that people consider "hot". I've always been skipped over in that category. I mean, you'd think it wouldn't matter, but after a while, it gets to you and sinks in.So I've always been like that. Yeah, I would sometimes wear skirts, but somebody else would always look better in it than I did, so I woud go back.I hate it. I'm tired of feeling like that. Someone else is better looking, the person I like thinks so, so I just kinda sit in the background, feelingbad. I'm pretty good at hiding, but I'm still never the one to show anything.I really wish that could change, I wish, want, to feel good enough, comfortable enough, about my body where I am willing to do stuff with people. i.e. , Maeghan.Or at least not feel bad about me not looking like them.Well, this is a long enough blog, so I'm gonna go. I just had to write down what I felt like, what I want to feel like, and why. So, thanks for reading. Bibi.

Decision

Well, I'm not going to the Smokies. I know that I really would have enjoyed it, I've heard that it is absolutely gorgeous, but I just don't have the time.It would just be too stressful. I would have 3 days after I got back to get everything ready, which is not enough time because it's not just school stuff.Plus, today is Sunday, and they kinda leave Monday, too much to get done before then. I just got back from Susan's, where I have been babysitting and working, so I'm tired. I haven't had much sleep the past couple of nights, because I'm just not tired.I mean, I feel fine, so it's ok. My mum siad that I probably won't get t hang with friends much, if at all, this week because of the stuff that I have to do.Sorry, guys, I really miss you all, it's been way too long. But I'll see you during school (woop dee do), so until then, Bye.

smoky mountains

Next week is the Smoky Mountains camp and I was thinking about not doing it.My aun tjust called and gave me some reasons to go. I am 15 going on 16, and at her work you can't go on the camps when you're 16. This may be my only time to go to there. It's supposed to be really beautiful, and there is white water rafting as well.I mean, it sounds really cool, like a lot of fun, and I'd like to do it.But then there are my reasons for not going. I would get back, and there would be 4 days til school starts. That's kind of stressing. Plus, I haven't seen my friends in over 2 weeks, and I haven't hung with Maeghan for 3 weeks.I'm really missing people, and I still have a lot to do before school starts.Plus, there's sophomore orientation. I know that I don't have to go, mum could go for me, but I might really want to change my schedule, or at least see what it is.I am tired, I don't want to do anything, and today is already friday. The camp would be on monday, and I'd have to prepare and everything. That would probably mean no friends.So I'm at a sort of dilemma. i know I shoudl do what I want, but I want both. Lol, that doesn't exactly work.So now I have no idea what to do, but I do know that I need to make a decision soon. Well, I'm going to go talk to mum about it, and I'll (hopefully) see you guys later.

cross country

Well, today we did a ton of pep and then did 2 one mile repeats. We ran one lap, and each time after that we were supposed to speed it up.I did pretty good on the first mile, then we got a 10 minute break. I want to sit down (which would have been bad) but I saw Grace! Yeah, so i went up to greet her through the fence and I saw her dad. He was my hyr coach a year or 2 ago, so that was cool. We talk, I yell at Andykins, and then I turn around to go back and I look at the staris. I was so freakin confused, it was hilarious. I didn't remeber going up any steps.It's funny, but at the time, I was like wtf?Anyways, then we ran another mile. At the middle of the second lap, I have to grab the rail and puke. I had to wipe my mouth on my shirt sleeve because there was nothign else. I got back on the track and started running again. I was going a lot slower after that, but I was still going.I got about halfway through the 4th lap and I puke again. I finished the lap, and wanted to collapse. But hey, I didn't, I talked to tommy, tried to see straight and then I ran into Andykins and Lizzie. That was really cool.Yeah, so this practice was hard, but I think I did pretty good for it only being my third practice. Anways, I need to go to Issy's tomorrow to scan the team pic and get that sent off. Yeah, we got our picture taken in those uniforms, the ones with the short shorts. Luckily, I'm in the back. Issy, you got out of that one, I dunno how, but no fair. Well, tis beddy-bye time for this girl. Night night.

home again

Well, we're back, as most of you probably know by now. At the moment, I have just gotten up, am extremely bored because no one is online because they are at band camp. Yeah, I feel sorry for them, escpecially considering that I just got up. That in itself is good news, considering that I haven't had much sleep lately. I was taking naps on the vacation because I was getting about 2 hours of sleep a night there. Me no like that.Yeah, I have been having some nightmares. Eryn, you know how you have those night terrors, I have them, but in a different way.Yeah, so that sucks, but at least I got some sleep last night. I had agreat time on vacation. The beach was awesome! And the waves were pretty cool too, because I got to body surf a lot. I got pretty good.And we went about 2 or 3 times a day, so we got to go during high tide, low tide, and all the times in between. Yeah, I loved it, except the water down there was awful! It was all salty and thick and crap. Yuck. Luckily they had filtered water. I took about 2 or 3 showers a day because the beach left crap all over you, such as sand, shells and salt.So, yeah, showers are good. We got to have some champaigne and wine, and yes, my mum even said yes to it! MY mum said yes to alcohol, that surprised me.But anyways, it was good. And for the record I did NOT get drunk off the wine! So there!By the way, we got souvenirs for you all. Don't expect anything cool or anything like that, because everything was EXPENSIVE down there. I'm talking 50 bucks for a bracelet. Yeah, so, don't complain.Well, I'm gonna go and wait til mum gets up from her nap so that I can get something for my ear, because it's being a bitch right now. But yeah, I'm gonna try to go to xc practice, but I dunno. Bibi.