Rambling

I miss my birdie. It's way too quiet around here now, expecially in the mornings. It's not right. I kinda want to get another one, but I know that none of them will quite replace her. She was definitely something. I know I don't update, but it seems like the group that used to read this has changed and really grown apart. I kinda wish it was the way it used to be, but I know that's never going to happen. People have changed too much and too many things have happened. But I guess that's high school, is it not? I wonder what's going to happen when we all graduate. What about the reunions? I know I'm going to go to at least one. I wonder if we'll even know each other once it's over. I'm scared of college, and semi-excited, although the fear is definitely winning at the moment. But I'm hoping that when Senior year comes that'll change. Of course, I have to find a way to get into college. I'm still planning on moving out when I turn 18. I'm just hoping that it's a realistic thing. I guess I'll find out later, I still have some time before that happens. And I'm just rambling here, so I'm going to stop

Present to Future

So, I was wondering, how is everyone's life? If you still read this that is. How was Valentine's day, how's junior year (senior for a couple) going? What do you plan on doing next year? I'm just trying to figure out what I'm going to do, and I was wondering about you guys.

My birthday

As most of you know, my birthday was wednesday, the day we started back to school. Woo, exciting. Anyway, I had a really good christmas and birthday this year. I got to see people that weren't my family, got tons of awesome presents, and just had a good time. Even new years was good. I'm 17 now. It feels weird to know that I'll be a legal adult in less than a year. But I don't know what I'm going to do when I turn 18. I know I don't want to live at my house anymore, and most of you all know why. But I don't have a job, or a car, or even a license. And I probably won't be able to get any of that until I'm 18 because of mum. A lot of things happened last year, a lot of things changed. I wonder what this year is going to bring.

Nakota

So today was really not a good day. I had to put my dog, Nakota, to sleep this morning. Something inside of him ruptured, either something that he ate that got stuck, or cancer that he had. Either way, he was really sick, and it was best for him. But I really miss him. He's the last of the animals that I grew up with. I remember sleeping on the living room floor in a sleeping bag the first 4 months he lived with us because he was afraid to be alone. We just had a connection. And now he's gone. But he was definitely not a dog that you easily forget, anyone who knew him will agree. I don't like saying 'knew' instead of 'knows'. But I can't change it, and it was the best thing for him, but I'll miss him. That just started off a day that really wasn't very good, at all, for many reasons. But I miss my boy.

Just things I guess

So, I don't know if anyone even reads these things anymore, I know I occassionally check them, but not often. I just felt the need to write here. A lot has happened since the last time I updated, and there's no way I can even begin to summarize it here. Or anywhere else for that matter. Junior year has been...interesting. I guess that's the best word for it. There have been many, many bad things, as well as many good. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I know that it's been the hardest year so far, and as I don't see senior year as being all the difficult, I think I agree with it being the hardest year. The schoolwork definitely sucks, I hate it. I really don't like school, except for the fact that it gets me out of the house. I'm not sure that even makes it worth it anymore. There are so many things going on, in my head and otherwise, I'm just very confused. And torn. And I know I'm just rambling here, but I haven't done that in a while, and it feels kinda nice. There's a lot of things I want to say, but can't. All I can say is, I feel like I'm heading in a direction that I'm not sure I want to go, but I don't know what to do or how to change it. So yeah, fun stuff, oh, and we start school on my birthday. Isn't that great? Happy birthday...let's go to school! Lol.

Summer is Ending

School is way too close for comfort now. School starts in a week. I'm not ready. This summer seems like it has been so short, and I haven't even really done anything. Usually when I don't do much I get bored and then school isn't too bad. But this time, I dunno, something's different. I haven't figured out what it is yet. It's been a weird summer. And I don't want to go to school, because I'm a junior now, and I have a feeling this year is going to kick my ass. Big time. Although I think I have a few classes with my friends this year, so that should help, I hope. I wonder what this year will be like. I wonder what will change, if anything. But it's almost inevitable that something will. But not like we can do anything about it, so oh well. So here's to enjoying our last week of summer.

scared

I haven't been this scared in a very long time. I have no idea what to do. I don't even know if there is anything that I can do. I don't think my life is going to be the same for a while, perhaps a long time. But I can't change it. I feel so helpless, and I hate that. I just don't know what to do...

Updating again

So, once again it has been a long time since I have written anything. A lot has happened, but the summer isn't even halfway over yet. I wonder what next year is going to be like? Andrew and Franklin are seniors, and the rest of us (you know who you are) are juniors. That is weird. I wonder what's going to happen next? Our group has already changed in so many ways, and gone so many different directions. Oh well, I guess we shall see. I don't really have anything to say, except that I'm a dork. Yup, tis true, and you all know it. I made another nation on that nationstates.net thing, and I still use my neopets accounts to play games. Yeah, I know, I'm pathetic, but I don't really care,lol. Anyway, hope everyone's summer is good, and people should update theirs too.

So it's been a while since I posted. I think it's been a while since anyone has posted, besides Eryn, and that today as well. She hadn't posted in a while either before then. I think this used to be a sort of religiously checked thing, but not so much anymore. I think we used to do it to keep in touch, but now that our circle has kinda separated and spread out, I think it's kind of fallen to a checked once-in-a-while thing. I suppose that's not a bad thing. I would have posted sooner if I would have had the chance, but I have been at Susan's for the past month. So if I haven't really talked or hung out with any of you guys, it's not because I dislike you and am ignoring you, I just wasn't allowed out of the house. But I am out now, and extremely happy over it. I am at my mums house and perhaps starting sometime mid june I shall be able to go out and spend osme time with you guys more. I miss you all, and the good times we used to have. So even if you've forgotten me, I haven't ignored you all. Hope everyone is having a good summer, and that it shall be a fun one.Ttyl.

If any of you all still read this, I would like an honest answer.


What happened to us?