Eve of Christmas Eve

Happiness presides over all in the land of Sabrina. Wow,I definetly just sounded like Issy right then. Oh well, twas fun. Speaking of which, I just got back from being over at Maeghan's for 3 days. Oh, how I wish I could live there. I would be happy forever. And warm, it would be nice. But alas, I don't think mum would like that.So far, I've spent 5 days over there this week. I didn't want to leave, but I had to. It has been awesome.And mum's pissed, of course, but I don't even care right now, though I suppose I shall later. Her parents seem to like me, a lot, so that is good, it makes things easier. I got christmas presents from them already. They got me socks and A Christmas Story. And I now have a very entertaining spongebob penis to play with. It makes me happy. And I still need to wrap mums christmas present (if only you guys could see it), though I think I shall wait until later.I think I must go now, and spend time with Grandma. So, I shall talk to you guys later.

Presents

I gave everyone their presents today. Well, all who came to school at least. cough *Andrew* cough. I hope you guys like them! Hee hee, some presents are more interesting than others, although I'm not talking about mine...Eryn.

Christmas presents

Ok people, I need you to tell me what you want for christmas, because I don't know and I'd like to get you something that you want and like. And I know that I do it, but it would be most helpful if you wouldn't say "you know me" or "I don't care" or something. You get the point. So yeah, be creative, have fun.

Snow!

It was the first snow of the year today! Although there wasn't much, and most of it was frozen rain, there was a little. It was beautiful. Oh how I love the snow. This is my favorite season. I don't know why, but I love winter. I love the cold, and the snow. Plus, everything in a blanket of white that you can sled over, or throw, or make snow angels in (cough *Eryn* cough).It's just a great season. And I love what it means. It means cold nights, but warmth, cuddled up under the covers with my person. Yeah, I know I'm pathetic, but I don't care. It's the perfect weather for hot chocolate and coffee, both of which I love. And we got off school early, which was awesome.So, I get to go over to Maeghans tomorrow, I get to spend the night at Eryn's Saturday ninght, and everything's good. Yay. Ok, well, I'm gonna go get my homework done and then get some sleep.

Stairs

Yeah, I fell down the stairs this morning. As in, all the way down. We have 14 stairs, I fell down 12. They are carpeted (thank god), but the floor at the bottom isn't. Grrrr. But I got up this morning at 6, because I didn't feel like getting up at 5 this time, and I go to the bathroom and start down the stairs. I think I either slipped and missed a step, or just missed a step, but either way, I fell. I remember starting to fall and hitting something, but I don't remember anything else until I realized that I was on the ground. And in a lot of pain. So, evidently, the fall knocked me unconcious. And I fell so hard that the sound woke mum up. Seriously. It takes a lot to wake her up, so that was a little freaky.You know what my first thought was? Ow. How about my second? Ow.My third was more along the lines of, what happened? Then my mum asked if I was fine. At this point I was still trying to figure that out myself, but if my fall woke her up, what do you think. Anyways, I got up and I was just a little tipsy.Little as in, I got up and hit the wall. Mum comes downstairs, and I get dressed for school. Yes, for some reason I was still getting ready for school. I dunno why, but my brain was saying that was the right and normal thing to do, so I did. I got dressed, mum went to work because she had to, and I went to school. My neck really started hurting me during first period, and my vision was blurred. So I called, and Susan said that she wouldn't pick me up, too busy. So mum took off work to come and get me. We then went to get x-rays and stuff. The x-rays were fine, which is good as I already have one neck injury and don't need another, but I do have a concussion. The doctor ordered that I don't go to school Tuesday, and he said that we'd see about Wednesday. He also ordered Hydrocodone for me, for the pain. Adult strength, full dosage, plenty of pills. But oh the pain without them.

On another note, Maeghan got her braces off today, which is awesome. Now she has a retainer. It must be weird, after having them in for that long. But I think it's good. So yeah, I won't even be able to see her until Wednesday at the earliest. Or anyone else for that matter. Oh yeah, and I got my hair cut today. Short. Oh well, I needed it.So, I think I'm going to go, the pills are kicking in.

Well, mum said that this is going to be a family weekend. We ended up going to grandma's for dinner, which is good because her food is actually edible and tastes pretty good. We stayed there until 9 and then we came home. Before that, mum picked me up and we went to the vet to pick up our puppy who had just been spayed. She was so pitiful, it was cute. But yeah, we have some not so good news about some of our pets. Susie, mum's dog but to whom I'm still attached, might have cancer. She has a tumor in her tail, and it's been there, but it's starting to grow, and growing means cancerous. Mum is going to take her in Thursday. And if it is cancer, there is nothing they can do because of where it's located. It's too far up on her tail to take off her tail and its to big to operate. So that's not good. And mum and I are going to have to take Sam and Sarah in to the vet to het their rabies shots. We have been holding off, because my cat Megan got cancer from the rabies shot, and so did one other cat in the family and it killed him. But the shot is mandatory, it is illegal not to get it for them. So I'm really scared about that. And Nakota is getting up there in age, and his hips are really starting to hurt him. He has hip displasia, which is common in Huskies, and so he has really bad hips. I can't stand to see him hurting, but I don't want to lose him either. But I have to do what's in his best interest. That choice will be hard. Plus 2 of our cats are getting old, about 15, so I don't know how much longer they will be either.So yeah, worried about my animals.

And mum and I got into another arguement. It was in the car while we were running around everywhere. She started talking about religion, and asking me what mine was. Yeah, I'm baptised, but that doesn't mean that I am a total Christian either. I told her that I really didn't wanna talk about it because it never leads anywhere good. And I was right, it didn't. But she insisted, and said that it was a harmless question. So I told her that I do believe in God, but that I think that the Bible is a fake, and that I believe that God is whoever or whatever you or I choose to make it. She asked if I believed in an afterlife and stuff. I said that I believe in heaven and hell and all that stuff, but that I believed that I was going to heaven because I said so, that you didn't have to do anything special. I also believe in reincarnation.Well, anyways, before I said anything she said that she wouldn't discount what I said. She did. To be honest, I don't care. She doesn't have to believe what I do. She doesn't have to like it either. But she started talking about how the Bible was true, but just not to the word, and going on this lecture about how she came to believe what she does, blah blah blah. I have told her countless times that I am uncomfortable talking about religion with her, and it annoys me that she continues to do so. It also gets on my nerves how she always starts talking about religion with someone and what happened in her life to make her feel that way and stuff. People are always so amazed. I dunno why it annoys me, it just does. It's a pet peeve of mine. And I have a right to my opinion. She always tells me that I don't have to listen, that I could leave, but whenever I do, she always yells at me later about how rude and disrespectful it was. So I prefer to just not get into it with her. Plus today, like she always does, it somehow led to our problems and how I'm always using her as the scapegoat, always hurting her feelings, making her feel bad, doing it on purpose, how I hate her and why. But it's not true. I don't hate her.There are only a few people in my life that I hate, and none of them are her. And I don't like hurting people, whether it be on accident or on purpose, no matter how I feel about them.That's just not me. I have too much of a conscience for it.So she got all pissed off, and I wasn't exactly happy, and we get to Grandma's door and we're still arguing. Grandma had been worried because mum had called her at 3 to say that we were on her way. Well, we got there at 5:45. Mum didn't call her to tell her that we had a few errands to run before we came over. She goes and tells Grandma that I chose not to call. Sure, I was at Susan's house which has a phone, but I hadn't known that she had talked to Grandma, and we never called. She could have just as easily picked up the phone. She chose not to.So Grandma was freaking out, thinking we had crashed or something, and mum blames that on me, like everything else, and what a horrible person I am. So yeah, neither one of us were happy, and it was pretty tense. But anyways, that's over, nothing I can do about it now. I put a new poem up at Allpoetry, and I feel bad about what made me write it, but it's over and done with, and I can't undo it now.

And I feel really bad about mum. I hate the fact that I'm constantly talking bad about her. This weekend is the anniversary of the death of my brother. I know that's hard for her. And I feel bad about not being compassionate and understanding about that. I mean, she lost a child. That would feel awful. I couldn't imagine it. Mum has been through a lot in her life, she had a pretty shitty childhood. I can't blame her for that. If anything, it makes me feel bad about disliking her, and talking about her. I don't have it that bad.I can deal. And I keep thinking about how I would feel if she died. I know that no matter how much I dislike her at times, I would still feel bad, and probably worse if we hadn't reconciled and I had been talking about her behind her back.So I dunno what to do. I just needed to get this out. I guess I'd better go to bed, but not like I'm gonna get any sleep with this much on my mind.













Yes, I do realize that I just wrote about mum and I argueing and how I don't like her and then turned around and wrote about how I felt bad about talking about her. But I'm just really confused right now.